I’m shaking and sobbing and

I can’t stop crying

I wish I could write
or paint or
draw or
sing

I’m lying alone in my room
I wish I had alcohol

Holocene is playing so I’m going to cry probably

I hate my body tonight
sometimes I only hate one part of it
my stomach or
my thighs
or
my skin or my teeth
tonight I hate it all

I can’t help but break down when I think about what a mess my life is. a huge fucking mess.

i know he means well though and i do love him

my dad always blows everything way out of proportion and gets ahead of himself

i told him that i was thinking about the possibility of going to England in a year or two and now apparently my whole family is coming with me 

this always happens

i always want to go for a run but i dont want people to see because embarrassing so i want to go at like 7 am but it’s really cold sigh summer hurry up??